Monday, November 29, 2010

You had me in stitches...

Good afternoon bloggers!

I just want to quickly tell you about my choice of title. Around 3 weeks ago, I broke a plate and cut my hand open on it, so had to have stitches! I'm in Cyprus, they didn't use anaesthetic, it was painful as hell! Anyway, I was told to go back two weeks later to get them removed... so I did. Turns out that department is shut at weekends... at the GENERAL HOSPITAL?! Welcome to Cyprus! I left them a few days, they started to become a bit infected, some got ripped out a party (that was fun) and I removed the other two by myself... a painful experience considering I'd left them in too long! This is a lesson kids... Don't use plates!

Anyway. My theme for today's story is all about family. Now we all have family who at some point or another say something stupid, maybe they pronounce "façade" wrong (if you don't know why that's funny, try saying it different ways... or go ask your parents), but a certain member of my family seems to continually say absurd stuff, that are so strange you couldn't script them. I just want to tell you a few of these stories.

Let me set the scene. It’s a family gathering; some nice food on the go, a couple of games and everyone's having a laugh. There are a lot of people there, it’s very hot in the room, so the unnamed family member removes her jumper, and someone spots a mark on her back. Enquiring as to what it was, she announces it was a birthmark, and continues to say "Yeah, I've had it quite a few years now".

Just another quick story about the same lady. She was on a diet, as I'm sure most women are at some point in their lives (or every other week for some women), whether necessary or not. Upon seeing her a few weeks after the diet had started I asked her how it was going. She told me she'd lost a few pounds. All is good. She then continued to say "I think I've lost it all from my neck because I can now wear a necklace I couldn't before". Now, I've never dieted myself and don’t know much about it, but, I would assume that when you lose weight it doesn’t all come from your neck!

Please keep voting for Marmite Song of the Week! A new song will be posted in a few days!

Don't forget guys, if you like... please follow and recommend!!

Peace and Love
Garreth

Friday, November 26, 2010

Nazi - Sorry, I mean News - Of the week!

Good afternoon bloggers!
As said in my last blog, I'm going to be posting one News Story a week that attracted my attention, not necessarily for the right reasons.

The news story in question this week amused me greatly. I actually forgot about it, until a friend reminded me on Facebook, so thanks for that.

The story is about a man named Godfrey Bloom, who is an MEP for UKIP. During a meeting, he called German MEP Martin Schluz an "Undemocratic Fascist" and also quoted a Nazi line to him. Watch the video, see for yourself.



I just find this very amusing. A UKIP member, who are against Europe yet still demand to have MEP's, calling someone else fascist, when they themselves have come under fire for racist scandals only earlier this year!

I hope you enjoy this story if you haven't already seen it, and please spread the word about this blog! Also, if you haven't yet done so, please click follow (to your right) and vote in my poll for "Marmite song of the week".

Peace and Love
Garreth

Some blogging rules...

Good Morning Bloggers!
I realise that my last blog was very random, with no particular structure! So here's what is going to happen from now on.
I will blog at least once a week, with three different sections in the blog:
  1. A short amusing story (or two) about a particular topic of choice. If the blog starts gathering momentum (which I don't expect it to), then I'll let you guys start choosing the topic for me!
  2. A song of the week, otherwise known as "Marmite song of the week". This will be a song of my choosing, with a video of it from YouTube that you are either going to love or to hate. I will warn you now, if you are easily offended, please don't listen to the Marmite song of the week! Suggestions are always welcome!
  3. A link to a news story from that week that I found either amusing, bizarre or just somewhat disturbing!
If you like my blog. PLEASE FOLLOW. If you don't have a gmail account, set one up. It takes all of 3 minutes!
Also, please spread the word if you enjoy it, and think other people will enjoy reading this as well!

I'm gonna leave you with the first ever Marmite song of the week:



Peace and Love
Garreth

Thursday, November 25, 2010

So, this is a blog...

Good evening bloggers!
Lets get this whole blogging thing started with a couple of quick short stories shall we? I've never done a blog before, so I don't really know the correct etiquette.

I'm at university in Leicester and I went to visit my friend in Sheffield. I hadn't been  there for quite some time, so I'd forgotten what the people there were like (I only live 15 minutes away, but still). Walking out of the station the first thing I heard was a girl saying "If he does that one more time, I'm gonna smash his head in with a crow bar"... Welcome home! Now for me, the punishment has to fit the crime, surely? If he raped her or beat her... fine... anything else, just calm down love!... certainly don't use a crow bar! I also saw a very large man on the train. He was wearing an American sports Jersey saying "Giants"... I couldn't help but giggle to myself and think "you're not wrong there mate". Of course I didn't say anything, he would have sat on me... or ate me.

I'm also currently living in Cyprus... studying out here. The first day I arrived, it was 34 degrees here. Hotter than its been all year in England. I chose to come to Cyprus for the weather... its warm and I can get away from the constant rain. I get in a taxi off the plane (who overcharged me, no surprises there), guess what happened? IT FUCKING RAINED!! The taxi driver told me it was the first day it had rained there in 7 months (I think he may have meant weeks)... I couldn't believe it, god really does hate me. The taxi driver also ran a red light, but that's nothing compared to what some of the drivers are like here. I'll do a Cyprus blog at a later date.

I'll just write up one more story, because I know no-one is going to read this and quite frankly I'm bored. Have you ever played that game, where you tell someone 3 stories about yourself... one is true... two are false, and to see how well they know you they have to guess which of the stories is true. I was playing this with a friend once, I'll not name names (Hanna Davis), and my three things were:
1) I've met the entire Newcastle squad
2) I have been on stage with the chuckle brothers
3) Something else that I can no longer remember.
She correctly guessed it was number 2. I told her "Yeah, it was the greatest day of my life" to which she responded "What, even better than meeting the entire Newcastle Squad?"...
I don't think she understood the game, do you?

If you enjoyed this, please share my link. I'll try and write a blog once a week, I have many stories to tell, and even if no-one reads them... its a great chance to deviate from work I should otherwise be doing!

Peace and Love
Garreth